How many times have you caught yourself thinking, I’ll be happy when…? When you finally land that dream job or buy a bigger house? For me, it was thinking that when I was able to get a new job and move away. During that time, I was recommended a book: The Chimp Paradox. And to this day I believe that book changed my life. In it (among many other things!), it explains that  it’s a common belief—almost a superstition—that happiness is something we’ll attain once we achieve a particular milestone. But the truth is, this kind of thinking sets us up for perpetual dissatisfaction.

Happiness isn’t a destination; it’s a state of being.

When we tie our joy to external things, we risk falling into the trap of hedonic adaptation – the psychological phenomenon where we quickly return to a baseline level of happiness, no matter what positive or negative events occur. That new car? Exciting at first, but soon it’s just another vehicle. That promotion? Rewarding, but eventually, it comes with new stressors.

The goalposts keep moving, and genuine contentment remains elusive. I realised in reading this book that waiting for a future event to feel happy was robbing me of the present moment.

If happiness is always on the horizon, you’ll never truly experience it.

When you tell yourself that happiness depends on achieving something, you reinforce the idea that your current life isn’t good enough.

External successes can bring momentary pleasure, but long-lasting happiness comes from inner peace, self-acceptance, and gratitude.

How to Break Free From This Mentality

• Practice Gratitude
  
  Appreciate what you have right now. Studies show that regularly practicing gratitude increases long-term happiness and life satisfaction. (Check out my post “How doing this one thing everyday changed my life”)
  
• Focus on the Journey
  
  Instead of thinking, I’ll be happy when I reach my goal, find joy in the process. Growth, learning, and small wins are all worth celebrating.
  
• Redefine Success
  
  True success isn’t just about material gains or societal milestones; it’s about well-being, relationships, and personal fulfilment.
  
• Cultivate Present-Moment Awareness
  
  Mindfulness and meditation can help you stay grounded in the now rather than chasing an elusive future happiness.
  
• Build Internal Joy
  
  Pursue activities that bring joy intrinsically rather than relying on external validation.

Happiness is Now

The next time you catch yourself thinking, I’ll be happy when…, challenge that thought. Ask yourself: What can I do to experience happiness today? Life isn’t a waiting game; it’s happening right now. The more we focus on finding joy in the present, the less we’ll depend on external circumstances to feel fulfilled.

Happiness isn’t something you find later – it’s something you create now.